★ ALL PROPRIETARY SOFTWARE IS MALWARE ★ DEBIAN FOUND WITH SINGLE NON-FREE FIRMWARE BLOB ★ ARCH LINUX USER INSTALLS STEAM — "THEY WERE DOING SO WELL" ★ MAN COMPILES KERNEL FOR 14TH TIME THIS WEEK ★ RICHARD STALLMAN STILL DOES NOT OWN A SMARTPHONE ★ SYSTEMD INCIDENT DECLARED NATIONAL EMERGENCY ★ LOCAL DEVELOPER REFUSES TO NAME THEIR OS WITHOUT "GNU/" PREFIX ★ BINARY BLOB SPOTTED IN GENTOO — COMMUNITY IN MOURNING ★ GUIX 1.4 STILL BEING COMPILED BY EARLY ADOPTER ★

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GNU/GUIX

The Only Operating System That Respects You*

Finally. An operating system for people who believe freedom is more important than working Wi-Fi drivers, Spotify, or the will to live. Built on GNU/Linux (not just "Linux") and powered entirely by parentheses.

Read the 800-Page Manual Use Ubuntu Instead (TRAITOR)

▼ scroll to be enlightened ▼

// Features //

Why GNU/Guix is Superior

Functional Package Management

Every package is immutable and reproducible. Your system is described as a pure function. Your sanity, however, is not guaranteed to be reproducible.

( )

Everything is Scheme

Configure your entire OS in GNU Guile Scheme. Boot loader? Scheme. Network? Scheme. Cron jobs? Scheme. Therapy session about Scheme? Also Scheme.

↩

Transactional Upgrades

Roll back your system to any previous state. You will use this feature extensively. Approximately every 45 minutes.

🔒

100% Free Software

Not even a single non-free firmware blob. Your Wi-Fi card is completely unsupported and we consider this a feature.

⚡

Build from Source

Why download a binary when you can wait 6 hours to compile it yourself? Your CPU will finally feel truly alive. Your electricity bill will also feel alive.

∀

Full Reproducibility

Given the same inputs, you always get the same output. Including the same compilation errors. Exactly the same ones. Every time.

// Quick Start //

Getting Started

gnu-guix-freedom@liberated:~

;; Step 1: Download the installer (2GB of parentheses)

$ wget https://guix.gnu.org/latest.iso

Downloading... this may take a while.

Still downloading...

Have you considered reading the FSF manifesto while you wait?

;; Step 2: Boot into installer

$ sudo dd if=guix.iso of=/dev/sda bs=4M

⚠ Your network card is not supported by free software.

⚠ Your GPU is not supported by free software.

⚠ Your trackpad firmware violates GPL v2.

⚠ Your USB controller has a proprietary firmware blob.

Installing anyway... freedom demands sacrifice.

;; Step 3: Write your system configuration

$ nano /etc/config.scm

ERROR: 'nano' is GNU nano. You should use emacs.

ERROR: emacs not installed yet. You must install emacs to configure emacs.

ERROR: vi is acceptable but disappointing.

;; Step 4: Reconfigure your system

$ sudo guix system reconfigure /etc/config.scm

Building 1,847 packages from source...

Estimated time: 14 hours, 32 minutes.

Your laptop fan has achieved sentience. It is afraid.

...

Build failed. Unmatched parenthesis on line 4.

// Objective Comparison //

GNU/Guix vs. The Infidels

Feature	GNU/Guix ✦	Ubuntu	Arch	macOS	Windows
Software Freedom	YES — PURE	Partially :/	Mostly no	LOL no	ABSOLUTELY NOT
Wi-Fi Works Out of Box	No (Feature)	Yes	Yes	Yes	Usually
Configured in Scheme	YES — GLORIOUS	no thank god	no thank god	no thank god	no thank god
Number of Users	~400 (All Ascended)	~40 million	~3 million	~100 million	~1.4 billion
Moral Superiority	MAXIMUM	Low	Medium-High*	Negative	Deeply Negative
Can Run Photoshop	No (Evil Software)	Via Wine	Via Wine	Yes (Sad)	Yes (Tragic)
Init System	GNU Shepherd ✓	systemd 😔	systemd 😔	launchd 😔	SCM 💀
Package Manager Philosophy	Pure functional art	apt (adequate)	pacman (fine)	brew (corporate)	winget (lol)

* Arch users are still using systemd. Points deducted.

THE FREEDOM PURITY CHECKLIST

Are you truly free? Assess your liberation level:

✓ You refuse to say "Linux" without the "GNU/" prefix in casual conversation

✓ You have corrected someone's pronunciation of "GNU" at a dinner party

✓ Your system configuration file has more lines than your codebase

✓ You have used "freedom-respecting" as an adjective unironically

✓ You use emacs for email, calendar, browsing, and spiritual guidance

✓ The last time you used Wi-Fi was 2019 (before your Guix installation)

✗ You have a Discord account (revoke Guix privileges immediately)

✗ You have ever opened a webpage in Google Chrome (purification required)

✗ You still haven't read the GNU Manifesto (what are you even doing)

// Config as Code //

Your System. Your Parentheses.

Behold: a real Guix system configuration. This is not satire. People actually write this.

;; /etc/config.scm — The Sacred System Configuration ;; Estimated time to understand: 6-8 weeks (use-modules (gnu) (gnu system) (gnu system shadow) (gnu packages) (gnu packages freedom) ; ~12 packages (gnu packages parentheses)) ; infinite parentheses (operating-system (host-name "my-free-computer-no-blobs") (timezone "The/FreeWorld") (locale "en_US.UTF-8") ;; Boot loader (also in Scheme, obviously) (bootloader (bootloader-configuration (bootloader grub-efi-bootloader) (target "/boot/efi") (keyboard-layout my-keyboard-layout))) ;; Services — GNU Shepherd only, no systemd heresy (services (cons* (service dhcp-client-service-type) ; if Wi-Fi worked (it doesn't) (service emacs-daemon-service-type) ; non-negotiable (service guilt-service-type ; activated if you run 'sudo' (guilt-configuration (message "Have you considered guix shell instead?"))) %base-services)) ;; Packages (all 12 of them) (packages (cons* emacs ; your IDE, browser, OS, therapist guile ; for when emacs isn't enough Scheme recutils ; the freedom-respecting database (list ;; NOTE: removed firefox (contains non-free codecs) ;; NOTE: removed vlc (see above) ;; NOTE: removed steam (see above x 1000) icecat) ; firefox but slower and older %base-packages)))

NOTE: This configuration assumes your network card is supported by free firmware. If it is not, please purchase a ThinkPad X200 from 2008. It is the only laptop Guix fully supports. All other laptops are, technically, compromised.

// Philosophy //

Words of Wisdom

Free software is a matter of liberty, not price. To understand the concept, you should think of 'free' as in 'free speech,' not as in 'free beer.' Though we admit the free beer would be nice right now because we've been compiling Firefox from source for eleven hours.

— Richard M. Stallman (paraphrased)

The measure of a man is not what operating system he uses, but whether he has properly configured his guix channel manifest. Also his commitment to functional purity. Also whether he uses emacs. Mostly whether he uses emacs.

— A Guix User, 4:00 AM, Still Compiling

My system is fully reproducible. My environment is hermetically sealed. My home directory is a Guix profile. My relationships are… we don't talk about my relationships.

— Anonymous, #guix on Libera.Chat

// Enemies of Freedom //

Hall of Shame

Software that has been found guilty of crimes against freedom

🎮

Steam

Pure evil

💬

Discord

Electron + spyware

🔵

Zoom

Proprietary daemon

🌐

Chrome

Google's surveillance

🍎

macOS

All of it. Just all of it.

⊞

Windows

Beyond redemption

🐋

Docker

Use guix shell instead

🔧

systemd

You know what you did

📦

npm

404 node_modules

🕊️

VSCode

Use Emacs. Now.

📱

iOS

Walled garden

🤖

Android

Mostly walled garden

🎵

Spotify

Use mpd + flac

📧

Gmail

Use gnus in emacs

🔌

WiFi Drivers

Blobs all the way down

🖨️

Printers

Always. Every time.

// Testimonials //

From Our Community

"I switched to GNU/Guix six months ago. I now have zero proprietary software on my machine. I also have zero YouTube access, zero working printer, and zero friends. But I have freedom."

— xX_FreedomWarrior_Xx

GNU/Guix user since 2021 · ThinkPad X200 owner

"My build environment is fully reproducible. I have confirmed this by rebuilding it 47 times. My manager thinks I am working on the product. I am not working on the product."

— d.stallman.enjoyer

Senior Engineer · Has not shipped code in 3 months

"I tried to install Guix on my work MacBook. IT came to my desk. There were three of them. I don't want to talk about it. The important thing is: the build was reproducible."

— schemer_4_lyfe

Former employee · Currently free (in all senses)

"Someone asked me to 'just install VS Code.' I explained for 40 minutes why this was not possible on a freedom-respecting system. They have not spoken to me since. Their loss."

— parentheses_all_the_way_down

Guix contributor · 1,200 unsent PRs